6th ANNIVERSARY

6th ANNIVERSARY

My loved son, today marks another year of your departure from this earthly life. It remains very difficult and painful not having you physically, but I know, because I feel it, you are always beside me, as my great angel and protector, which gives me great comfort. Also, many things have happened since your departure, which have filled my heart, I know has not gone through pure chance, but because you have sent them to me by other persons, of which I want to talk at this time.

On October 3, 2005, at your private memorial that was held in a church in Jacksonville, approached me one of your military friends to ask for my address, because he would like send to me some pictures where you was, that surely I will like to have. Some months later, for reasons irrelevant to comment here, I find myself in a situation where I did not have any of your belongings that were of great value for me, such as your photos that you had on file in your computer laptops, your graduation ring, badges and military medals, and so on.

Was after that when I started to think frequently in your friend that offered me your pictures, but I did not know his name. Finally, thanks to your intervention, your friend, who happened to be Michael Sullivan, sent to me one CD with over 300 pictures where you appear. Was not this amazing?

After receiving the CD with the pictures I wrote to Michael Sullivan to thank him and let him know why your gif was of great value to me. Even, in your first anniversary, we gathered at the base of Newport in Jacksonville, and Michael Sullivan brought me another gif. It was a wooden shelf with glass, which contains a plaque indicating your name with the dates and places where you served during your military career, and also some different badged and medals such as tapeworms that you wore it. This wooden shelf triangle-shaped, is place on the wall of the office room at my home, which I call "your room".

Wen I went to your apartment to clean it, I found in one of the kitchen cabinets a beer jar which had written on a boadr a psalm from the Bile, that was more as an ornament that for be used. I wanted to give it to Nate, one of your best friends. I knew he should be happy to have it knowing that it had been your. To my surprise, when I brought it to Nate, he was sorprised as well, and told me that the beer jar was a gif he gave to the groomsmen of his weeding, being you one of them. He had given to all them the jar some days before the wedding, which took place on October 15, 2005, few days after you death. Nate wanted I keep the jar because it was a gif from him to you. If I had given the jar to another of your friends, maybe that friend did not know the provenance of the jar and had been very happy that I had given it to him, but you wanted me to retain because it was a gif of value to you, and for that the jar is in the book case of "your room". Whas not this amazing?

One day, working in the Hotel, I delivered a dinner to a guest room, and the guest told me he was an air force pilot, and inevitably we talk about you. He asked me if I had your wings, the ones used by pilots in their uniforms and I said NO. The very kindly guest gave me the wings that he had put on his uniform and told me: "This are not the same used by your son, but I want you to keep". Again, I knew it was you who wanted me to have those wings. Was not this amazing?

About two years ago, I did a comment on this blog, about something that happened to me working in the Hotel, and few days before my birthday. I delivered a dinner to the guest room, and the guest put in my hand a tip of $ 20. The next day I delivered a dinner to the same guest and the guest put in my hand the tip. In that moment I thought it was another $ 20 and when I left the room, instead of put the bill in my pocket, I felt strange the texture of the bill in my hand to the point that I had to check the bill, but not to check the amount of the bill. I had to open the bill completely and the bill had something writting in the white border: "Happy birthday Mom". I was very surprise and excite, and inmediatelly you came to my mind. I knew it was you who wanted to congratulate me for my birthday before any other person, and send me the signal that you keep a close eye on me. Was not this amazing?

One of the few thing I have of your belongings is a leather cord with a bronze cross that you wear in your neck when you were a teenager and you went to the beach. Some years ago I put it in the rearview mirror of my car. One day I was driving and felt that something fell on my seat between my legs. I was surprised when I saw it was the leather cord with the cross. The strange thing is how it could get away from the rearview mirror, when the only way of being able to get out was that it had taken off the windshield rearview mirror or the two nodes that has the cord had broken or had broken the cord, and nothing of that happened. In the other hand, the rearview mirror is in the middle of the windshield and I still can not understand why the cord with the cross did not fall right on the floor of the car in the middle of the seats. In that moment I knew you wanted tell me something, but I remember that I told you out loud: "Rob, I did not understood your signal this time. Was not this amazing?

On the last month (August), other two situations hapened to me also at my job. One day a guest told me they had to go ahead of schedule to Jacksonville, where they live, because your husband's best friend had died and they had to assist to the funeral. It was inevitable to think of you at that time. The next day, another couple came from Jacksonville to the Hotel to relax, after the brother of him had died of cancer. It was also inevitable to think of you at that time. This lead me to think why those situations happened to me very close each other, and then I realized that the next day was 24th, the day you died, and so every month I put flowers for you, next to the picture frame with your photo in "your room". Those days I had been working out some issues that kept me very busy and really did not know on what date or day I was, and I was going to pass the time without realizing it. In conclusion, you wanted to get my attention so will not forget your flowers and indeed the next day in the morning the first thing I did was go out and buy your flowers. Was not this amazing?

My son, as you can see, I get all your signs and look forward to receiving many more.

Forever in my mind and heart,

Love, your Mom

Mildred

ROB' S 5TH ANNIVERSARY

This year, like in the preceding ones, I attended the ceremonies of the Memorial Day and the remembrance acts in front of the Veteran's Wall at Jacksonville. I always like to be present on this day in which the city remember and wonderfully honor all the heroes and veterans that were residents of the city and in which the names of the veterans that have fall while in active ervice, their names are inscribed in the wall, including your name. This day was wonderful because I had the opportunity to talk with the person in charge and inform that I was your mother and that I was not in attendance the day when your name was included in the wall because for some unknown reason I and nobody of your family was notify. That person promise to me to mail the 2006 Program brochure, when your name was added in the wall and the good new is that it is already in my hands. I continue in conversations trying to obtain a copy of the event video.

I want to thanks Nate Hemphill for the special workout that he coordinated at the Crossfit Firebase Gym that he attends, on September 25, 2009 and that was dedicated in memoriam on the fourth anniversary of your departure. Nate and a group of friends put all their efforts to accomplish with all the requirements of the workout exercises until they were exhausted. Some of them finish the workout exercises before the others but all end the session very tired. I brought with me one of your photos, the one that I placed in this blog last year for your fourth anniversary, and when they see the photo, it give them more energy to continue with the workout. I want to thanks all the boys and girls that were part of the workout and one of the owners of the gym, Mrs. Raquel, for all the support given to that event.

Also I want to thanks your aunt Josefina Lezama, who about a month ago sent me as a gift a copy of a DVD video that she filmed during a visit to her home when you and Beth went to Venezuela to visit me in the year 2002. The video is short but I rejoice every time I watch it. Although I am not a fan of the video cameras, today I feel sorry for not having more of your image in videos to remember all the wonderful times we have enjoy together. She also sent me some of the photos taken that same day.


These are some of the photos taken at the Crossfit Firebase Gym:

These are some of the photos that your ant Josefina sent me as a gift:

ROB'S 4TH ANNIVERSARY

My dear son, as in preceding years, your annual death anniversary still is a reason to continue honoring you and your reminiscences. By this time the roses adorn the dresser in “Your Room”, right next to your picture, as it is usual on the 24th of each month.

This year your friend Nate likes to honor your memory with a special workout at the gym he attend, together to others friends, tomorrow September 25th. I will be very pleased to be present at the activity and happy to watch others perform something you so much loved to do.

I want tell to you that I have received the messages or signals that you spirit have sent to me. Like it happens to me last year a few days before my birthday: In my work, one day I received a tip of twenty dollars, the next day, the same person put again in my hand the tip and I thought “this are another twenty dollars”. I keep the bill in my hand for a few minutes and when I was alone and was going to place the bill in my wallet, without taking a look to it, my hand felt a texture so different to the other bills, that makes me to open the bill . I know it was not necessary to open the bill completely to know the quantity; however this was what I did. When I open the bill, I could read at the lower edge:: HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM. Immediately your charisma comes to my mind. I confess I was very emotional and could not hold my tears. Son, you was there…. You give me the sign you were with me and that you remember my birthday, and you did it…!!! Thank you very much!!!

Coincidentally, in this month of your death anniversary, Beth your ex girlfriend get marry and your fiancée Sara, who had already married give born her first child. It is unbelievable that these two events happened in the same month, and precisely in the month of your annual anniversary!!!! Mary, Beth’s sister told me that on the wedding day, a helicopter was flying around the celebration weeding place. To her it was a signal for her to know you were there!!!

My dear son, today and always you will be in my thoughts and heart.

“THANKS FOR BEING MY GUARDIAN ANGEL..."

I love you and miss you,

Your mother,

Mildred

Orlando, September 24, 2009

ROB´S 3rd. ANNIVERSARY

My beloved son, today is the third anniversary of your departure. I have been very sad. It has been very difficult not to see, touch or to speak to you, also it has been hard not to hear your voice. You’ll always be with me, deep in my heart, mind and memories. My dearly loved son I remember you every second of my life and death won’t ever make me to forget you.

Last April I became an American Citizen. I would have wanted you to be there next to my side to celebrate this occasion. It felt as if you had been there, because everything that I had experienced was touching and interconnected to you. That day I could not stop thinking that my feelings were the same as yours when you became an American Citizen. When the oath to the flag came, some soldiers surrounded the flag and went to the center of the stage. Soon after the hymn of the United States was sung, and a video of a fight for freedom by soldiers was played on a screen, with a sound of the song “God Bless the U.S.A”. I felt mixed feelings and emotions of sadness, it was very difficult for me to hold my tears back. I sensed your presence in a continuously and I saw you in the screen of my mind with a face of happiness and very proud of me becoming an American Citizen.

This year in May I decided to be present in the Commemorative Memorial day at the wall of veterans in Jacksonville where your name is placed. These events were very emotional, especially when they asked the relatives of the veterans to stand. They honored all of us with applause. Mr. John and Mrs. Kathie Walsh were present next to me for this tribute. On the same trip to Jacksonville I fulfilled my wishes to visit the Ritz, that special place in the beaches area of Jacksonville where you used to meet with your friends to have some drinks. I felt happy to stop over in that place full of your friendship memories.

Olaf and I cheered for you in there!!!

Robert your diploma from the University of Jacksonville is already in "Your Memory Room".

Year around I keep in the refrigerator’s door a calendar with you picture, as well as a calendar with a different picture every month and the last anniversary passing away card that I have written to you.

“LIFE IS ETERNAL AND CONTINUOUS”

GOD BLESS YOU

I love you and miss you,
Your mother
Mildred

I thank Robert’s friends who came from Jacksonville, Washington, and other cities to Orlando to be with me last year at Robert’s 2nd anniversary: John and Kathie Walsh, Rick Gonzalez, Nate and Anneth Hemphil, Mary Nelder and Bill Wellman. Also, thanks to my good friends Loredana, Alberto and Romina for the DVD with Rob´s pictures, it´s awesome. To my brother Hector, my sister in law Zulay and my niece Johanna thank you for supporting me always.

What a great weekend. We shared many of Robert’s anecdotes. In addition I had the opportunity to show Robert´s friends my culinary skills, since Robert had always expressed to his friends compliments for my abilities.He used to say: “If there is something my mother does best, it is cooking”When Robert’s friends tasted Roberts’s favorite Venezuelans dishes, they all agreed with him!!!

We had a dinner on Saturday night and a Creole breakfast Sunday morning.And then proceeded to a Catholic church where we all attended a Spanish Mass.We all prayed for Robert to rest in peace…

Here are some pictures from that memorable weekend:

:

Pictures from the visit to the Ritz:

The Jacksonville University diploma

Thank you Bill Wellman for the precious gift of a short video of Robert. It is very meaningful to me, because it is the only video I have of him.

ROB´S 2ND. ANNIVERSARY

Dear son, today is the second anniversary of your departure. I promised myself to finish a tribute project in your memory in my home office, to share on this day with some of your best friends.

I feel comforted when I am in the room and I see you smiling in that big picture which is the central focus of what I call “Robert’s Wall” or “Robert’s Room”. This wall has things of value which are of significant worth to myself. This space is not only a wall dedicated to you, it is your room because it keeps a lot of your memories. In this room I have a small dresser with your pictures and on the 24th of each month there are flowers for you. Your diploma from the Jacksonville University is going to be placed in a special spot in your room as soon as I receive it.

I wanted to tell you that I am still trying to find an answer to my question Why did you die?. I have been reading books such as “A life with Purpose”, “When God’s Plan Doesn’t Make Sense” among others and I have not found the answer and I know I never will. With this reading I have learned that we do not blame or question God’s plan and we have to accept his intention.

When I pray, I ask God to give me the strength I need to keep going on with life because most of the time I can’t bear the pain of your departure. I know God is giving me the energy because otherwise I wouldn’t be able to finish this project of your “Wall or Room”.

I want you to know that your presence now more than ever is in my heart, in my life with that gorgeous smile and those eyes full of sweetness and understanding.



“Life is eternal, life never ends”

I love and miss you,

Your mother

Mildred

Orlando, September 24, 2007

My gratitude is to the people whom contributed and made possible the project of Robert’s Wall or Room.

Katty and John. Walsh:

Thank you for the scrapbook that you presented to me in the private memorial honoring Robert in Jacksonville, Florida in October 3, 2005.

To Sara Williams (Robert’s fiancé) aunt:

Thanks for giving me the picture displayed in the private memorial in honor to Robert in Jacksonville, Florida in October 3, 2005

Michael and Brooke Zullivan:

Thank you for the beautiful gift that you gave me upon the celebration of Robert’s 1st Anniversary in Mayport, Florida in September 24, 2006 and also the CD with the deployment pictures of 2004-2005.

Mary and Bryan Neldner:

Thanks for the newspaper outlining Robert’s name in the Jacksonville Veteran’s Wall. I used that information in the scrapbook. Also thank you very much for the picture in the Ritz with messages for Robert, just after he passed away.

Brady and Tracie Scher:

Thank you by giving me the flag that Brady waved in the military airplane in Iraq, because of Robert’s 1st Anniversary as well as the flag’s Authenticity Certificate.

Rob and Laura Denton:

Thanks for the military uniform shoulder boards similar to the one used by Robert.

Nate and Annette Hemphill:

Thank you for the cup given to your wedding’s best men (Robert among them), the ceremony that took place in October 15, 2005 (few days after Robert’s death).


I really appreciate all your beautiful gifts and kindness. I know my dear son Robert is happy too.

This are some pictures from Rob´s room.

Next you will see some pictures of Robert’s 1st Anniversary in Mayport, Florida.